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FATHERHOOD

[Talk presented by John E. Enslen at a priesthood leadership meeting of the Montgomery Alabama Stake of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints on October 8, 1988.]

If I were about to die, and could speak but once more to the people of this stake, the group to whom I would speak at this time would be this group, and the message I would deliver at this time would be the message I am about to deliver. I say that merely to demonstrate the importance I attribute to the subject matter. It is certainly not a prophesy of pending death.

An integral part of the plan of salvation and exaltation, as revealed in these last days, is the beautiful principle that marriage, as ordained of God, is for all eternity. Therefore, the sacred titles of husband and father are also eternal. Earthly fatherhood is an apprenticeship to celestial fatherhood. Celestial fatherhood equates with Godhood.

The rewarding compensation for obedience to the oath and covenant of the priesthood is the Saviors’s promise that “all that my Father hath shall be given unto Him.” (D&C 84:38) If we think beyond the material and ponder upon the spiritual, we come to realize that the most important of the gifts of the Father is His divine nature, even Godhood. The apostle Peter declared, there is “given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature….(11 Peter 1:4) Peter described us as “being heirs together (meaning with our wife) of the grace of life.” (1 Peter 3:7) The apostle John stated: “But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God...” (John 1:12), and “He that overcometh shall inherit all things....” (Rev. 21:7) Paul added to this in his day: “For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God. *** The spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God: And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ....” (Romans 8:14,16-17) “Wherefore thou art...a son; and if a son, then an heir of God through Christ.” (Galations 4:7)

For a fortunate few, this sacred doctrine of noble heritage, as sons of God, and divine heirship, as heirs of God, uplifts and inspires the human soul as no other doctrine can do. We see a more glorified Savior as “King of Kings,” many, and “Lord of Lords,” many. (Rev. 19:16) And we see ourselves as the beneficiaries of a Heavenly Father whose love for us has no bounds.

For others whose gospel education is weak, not having proceeded line upon line, whose ideas and thoughts are heavily tainted with the precepts of men, and not founded in the confirming spirit of the Holy Ghost, the doctrine of divine heirship is misunderstood, and we are falsely accused of making ourselves gods. The first recorded account of a person accused of being a “Godmaker” is found in the 10th Chapter of John:

“Then the Jews took up stones again to stone him. Jesus answered them: Many good works have I shewed you from my Father; for which of those works do ye stone me? The Jews answered him, saying, for a good work we stone thee not; but for blasphemy; and because that thou being a man, makest thyself God.” (John 10:31-33)

The Jews had accused our Savior of being a self-made “God.” The answer which Jesus gave to his accusers is one which the world should understand before the Latter-day Saints are condemned. Replied He:

“Is it not written in your law, I said. Ye are gods? If he called them gods, unto whom the word of God came, and the scriptures cannot be broken, say ye of him, whom the Father hath sanctified, and sent into the world. Thou blasphemest; because I said, I am the Son of God.” (John 10:34-36)

The Savior was quoting from the 82nd Chapter of Psalms which reads:

“God standeth in the congregation of the mighty; he judgeth among the gods. *** I have said, ye are gods; and all of you are children of the Most High.” (Psalm 82:1,6)

An attribute of Godhood is the ability to devise a plan and then carry out that plan to fruition. It takes hard work and careful planning to have unity with our wife and together rear our children in righteousness. The Savior designed mortality in such a way that great effort and priority to wife and children would be needed in order to qualify for the blessings of a joyous family life in this world and eternal life in the world to come. In 1973, President Harold B. Lee said: “The greatest work we will ever do will be within the walls of our own home.” In 1964, President David 0. McKay had warned: “No other success in life can compensate for failure in the home.” Family life is the ideal test tube in which we might work out our salvation and exaltation, and if we acquire perfection in any Christian attribute or any desirable character trait, we will acquire it first in the home. For instance, “If any many offend not in word, the same is a perfect man....” (James 3:2) Speaking with kindness and tenderness in the home will always precede a consistent ability to speak with kindness and tenderness to those outside the home. Despite the acclaim we may receive from the world, who and what we truly are is revealed by the quality of the personal relationships we have with our wife and children.

On our return flight from conference in Salt Lake this past week, my wife pointed out to me the following magazine ad promoting a family vacation at a particular ski resort:

“The world’s not going to stop spinning and hurl itself into the sun just because you spend less time in your personal, economic, recreational, and social pursuits. But some remarkable things will happen if you spend more time with your family. For instance, you’ll get the chance to meet some really wonderful people—your wife and children. No father ever looked back and wished that he’d spent less time with his family.”

It takes quality time with our family to nurture relationships and to fulfill the responsibilities of fatherhood. What we do with our children is more important than what we do for them. In fact, we should give them everything money cannot buy. A hundred years from now it will not matter how our financial statement read, how many square feet were in our house, the make or model of our vehicles, the won-loss record of our alma mater, the outcome of our favorite TV serial, or even the church callings we had, but our circumstances will be greatly affected by the manner in which we have kept our covenants as husbands and fathers.

By divine appointment, unrelated to personal qualifications, the father is the presiding authority in the home. That means that he is the patriarchal leader and is responsible for the outcome, in other words, the success or failure of the family unit. Success means doing all within our power to lovingly and patiently lead each family member back to the presence of God. We never fail so long as we never give up.

Fatherhood is synonymous with leadership. In the family we continuously lead by example. In fact, our example, good or bad, is never wasted on other family members. We must lead by proper example, for we cannot live one way and effectively teach another way. The philosophy of “do as I say and not as I do” fosters a system which guarantees ultimate failure because what we do speaks louder and longer than what we say.

In the family we lead also by spoken precept. The word “father” is synonymous with “teacher” and there is no greater calling. Our choice of words as we teach are very important. They can build up or tear down, encourage or discourage, protect or provoke, compliment or criticize. An early saint and father was admonished: “Strengthen your brethren in all your conversation....” (D & C 108:7) “(A) Word spoken in due season, how good it is!” said wise King Solomon. (Proverbs 15:23) Job responded to his so-called friends: “How forcible are right words! but what doth your arguing reprove? (Job 6:25) By quietly taking advantage of special teaching moments, which usually come after some type of disaster has struck, we can provide the guidance which our children will later rely upon to make the right choices in life. As we teach, we should remember that the most important words are, as Jacob told his Nephite brethren, “the pleasing word of God, yea, the word which healeth the wounded soul.” (Jacob 2:8)

The most important ingredient in the formula for family success is love, the pure love of Christ which is called charity. We are to love our families “even as Christ... loved the church, and gave himself for1 it.” (Ephesians 5:25) This Christlike love can compensate for, and in time allow us to overcome, our many inadequacies as fathers. In the absence of genuine love, our efforts are fruitless. If our family members are not bound together in pure love, then the power and ordinances of the priesthood will have no effect in making our family an eternal family.

Do our wife and children feel in our presence eternally loved, unconditionally accepted, and temporally protected? Do our children have that basic feeling of security that can come only from knowing that Daddy truly loves Mama? Do our children consider us a “best friend?” Is our home a house of order? Are we organized so that family prayer, family scripture study and Family Home Evening do not depend for their occurrence upon fortune or chance? Can we be trusted to organize our homes so that later we can be trusted to organize a world? “For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the (work) of God?” (I Tim. 3:5)

The role of the father in the home is absolutely critical to the spiritual welfare of the family. In fact, our greatest accountability and stewardship in this life is providing for the spiritual needs of our wife and children. That accountability runs directly to our Savior Jesus Christ before whom we shall each surely return and report.

How thankful I am to be a husband and a father. Occasionally, I catch a glimpse of Heaven and feel that unspeakable joy. I am comforted to know, and I do know, that righteous relationships do not end with mortal death. I bear this solemn witness in the name of him who made it all possible, even Jesus Christ, Amen.

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